


Repressed Feelings

by theemeraldalpaca



Category: BnHA, Boku no Hero Academia, My Hero Academia
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Brotherly Love, Gen, Other, Sibling Reunion, Soft Dabi (My Hero Academia), drunk!natsuo, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:21:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25441576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theemeraldalpaca/pseuds/theemeraldalpaca
Summary: A strange encounter reunites Dabi with his younger brother. Repressed Feelings are brought to light.
Relationships: Dabi & Todoroki Natsuo, Todoroki Fuyumi & Todoroki Natsuo & Todoroki Shouto & Todoroki Touya
Comments: 3
Kudos: 82





	Repressed Feelings

  1. **DABI**



Shigaraki had assigned him to spearhead the recruitment process of the league so Dabi found himself out on the streets more often.

He didn’t mind. The late December cold felt good on his skin, grazing his blotched scars and what was left of his skin with comfort. The cold had always been a friend to him. On particularly frosty days, it reminded him of the way his mother had lightly caressed his skin as a child, dressing wounds, planting kisses—an icy but pleasant touch. 

Downtown Musutafu was bustling with noise as the world around him celebrated another end of the week. Men in slacked business suits were drinking, teenagers were chatting in boisterous noises, restaurants and shopping areas were dazzling with sales and flashy mannequins. As he walked the streets to meet up with a potential recruit, he allowed himself to get lost in the evening clamor. 

He took a turn, leaving the main road, and dived into a dimly lit alleyway. He shuffled the burner phone out of his pocket again to check if he had gotten the location right. He was only a couple more blocks away. 

As he was reaching his destination, he heard the echoing of footsteps fall behind him. He halted, pressing his back against the nearby wall to observe whoever was coming. 

“Wha—I told you not to follow me, you idiot!” He heard a boy’s voice hiss. A mumbled response followed, but he couldn’t hear it properly. “Oi, Natsuo!” His eyes narrowed at the mention of the name. The boy let out a heavy sigh. “Shit, he’s drunk already.” 

Dabi leaned against the corner, hiding himself in the shadows, as he peered at the newcomers. 

The two boys were probably in their mid-20s , clad in a prominent university’s hoodie, sweatpants and rubber shoes. One of them was slumped down on the wall, beer bottle still in his hand, head knocking over, like he was going to collapse on the floor any time. The other was standing over him, trying to get him to stand up but it appeared to be a failing attempt. 

“Why’re you here, Rik?” The white haired boy slurred, lifting his head, his eyebrows furrowed. Dabi felt his chest tighten, catching sight of familiar gray eyes. What was  _ he _ doing here of all places? “This ain’t the dorms.” 

“I-I just have to do something,” the boy, Rik, said, running a hand through his chestnut hair, sparks flying off his fingertips. Dabi realized this college student was the guy he was supposed to be meeting. “Didn’t you say you were going home this weekend?” 

A grunt came out of the white haired boy. “Don’t want to. Lemme stay with ya.”

The chestnut haired boy huffed, scratching his head. He raised his head, swinging it around at the empty street around them and after doing an inspection of the place, returning his gaze to the intoxicated boy. “Fine. Just stay here.” 

Dabi had an idea. A smirk curled on his lips as he turned the corner, stepping under the street light. 

“I thought I made myself clear that you were to come alone, Sparky,” He allowed his voice to reverb around the alleyway, his eyes landing on the white haired boy beside him.

_ You’ve grown, kid.  _

He knew it was inevitable. In fact, on the days when he felt like burning those assholes in the league to pieces, he found himself imagining when he would see them again, see Natsuo in particular again. It did wrench his heart, tugging the little bit of his old self that he kept alive just to reassure himself he was not a monster.

_ Natsuo. _

_ Why are you here? God, what did you get yourself into?  _

A voice inside him screamed to run to his side and nurse him until he was sober again, but he knew he couldn’t do that. He shouldn’t, for his sake. 

The chestnut haired boy snapped his head upwards, a wide eyed expression flashing on his face. “Wait, no, please, don’t hurt him,” His voice was thick with fear. “L-Leave him out of this.” 

Dabi sauntered towards them. “And what if I decide to kill you both? You were the one who broke the rules here, kid.” He raised his right hand, his blue flames coming to life on his palm. He wasn’t planning on actually attacking them, but he wanted to toy with them a bit. See where this boy was going. 

“M-Mr. Dabi, I can be a great asset to the league! I have connections within the hero commission—“ 

“Yeah, well, we already have an insider. What else?” 

“I-I,” The kid looked like he was about to burst into tears. Damn, he was such a crybaby like Natsuo. No wonder they were friends. He took a deep breath, regaining his composure. “My friend,” he turned his head towards the white haired boy who leaned against the wall, eyes fluttering open and close. “He’s had a rough childhood. I want to help him out but I can’t do much because of how society works.” He dipped his head. “I want to help him.” 

_ Interesting _ . Dabi lifted his chin. “Pretty noble to resort to villainy for a friend. Why didn’t you just go to the police?” He pressed, eyes glinting with curiosity. 

“Because his dad...his dad is a big hero,” the boy scrunched his eyebrows. “And they covered up all the crap they did to him and his siblings. This is the only way,” he breathed out. 

Dabi considered him for a while. The guy was terrified out of his mind, shaking like a rabbit, and he probably didn’t want to be here at all, but here he was, willing to enter this path to darkness for a friend. 

His eyes darted back to the half awake boy beside him, and felt the ache tug in his chest.  _ You finally found some decent people, little bro. Good. Keep them.  _ Just because Natsuo wasn’t physically abused as much as he or Shoto was, the kid was deprived of comfort as much as any of the siblings were. Back when he was fresh on the streets, the guilt of leaving them behind with their father on a rampage and their mother tucked away in a hospital, constantly ripped him apart. He had always glanced back, hoping if he looked at the right time, he would catch them behind him with their smiles again like it was a game of tag. But in his reality, they never found him. They never tagged him out of this cursed life. 

He made his resentment his driving force to take down his father. He allowed the anger to latch itself onto every thought just so that his longing for them wouldn’t eat him alive too much.

But he had also regretted a lot of things. Sometimes he would find himself wandering the streets in search of things that reminded him of who he used to be. Sometimes all he thought about was the guilt that clawed his chest for not staying there with them. For not being there for them. He wasn’t about to give this kid the same terrible fate. 

“No.” Dabi said curtly. “You can’t join.” 

The boy’s expression twisted. He staggered towards him. “Wait, please, I have an electric quirk, I can paralyze people! I’ll be a huge asset to the league!” 

“Look, kid. You wanna help him? Then help him out now. Be there for him and all that shit. Getting into this shit will ruin your life, and his as well. Just stay out of it.” 

“Mr. Dabi, I’m willing to take the risk—“ 

Anger riled up within.  _ Like hell you are _ . He grabbed the boy and shoved him into the wall. “Fucking listen kid.” He growled, pushing him. “Look at you. You don’t even want to be here. I could kill you right now but I won’t. Just get back to your class and take care of him. That isn’t so hard, is it?” 

The boy’s eyes seemed to have grown even wider. “No, sir,” the boy gulped. 

“Then leave. Don’t ever come back here.” Dabi eventually let go of him. The boy fell backwards, collapsing on the ground. 

“Yer the guy who tried to kill m’ dad,” a voice suddenly piped up beside them. Both Dabi and the boy whipped their heads to see the white haired boy’s glazed eyes peering at them tiredly. “Why didn’t ya jus ‘nish it?” 

“Natsuo!” The kid had a horrified look on his face. 

“What?!” The white haired boy snapped. He raised his flimsy hand to point at Dabi. “You,” a smile cracked on his face as he inclined his head. “‘Re a hero. My hero.” He drawled on the last phrase, raising his beer bottle in the air. 

Dabi felt like he had punched him in his guts. 

_ “Touya-nii, I don’t care what he says! I hate him! You are a hero! My hero!”  _

Dammit, Natsuo. 

His eyes flared, emotions surging in his veins. “Be careful who you call a hero, kid.” As he made his way towards him, the boy’s gaze never faltered. Even in that state, he was still trying to put up a fight, trying to look strong, to prove that he was strong.  _ He hasn’t changed much emotionally huh _ . “They might just be the ones to hurt you the most.”

Natsuo frowned like he shoved a puzzle piece in the wrong gap and he couldn’t figure out what was wrong. He blinked. “Blue flames...” His eyebrows knit together tightly. “You-you areee...” 

Dabi crouched in front of him. Natsuo inherited his mother’s gray eyes. He used to tell him his eyes brew the vigor of a tornado when he was upset but was as quiet as a cloud when he was sad. The two things mixed in the expression he was giving him. A tear trickled down Natsuo’s face. 

“Scars,” Natsuo mumbled, his voice growing smaller. “Bandages. Burns.” 

“You got the wrong person, kid,” Dabi replied. He grabbed the beer bottle from his hands. Natsuo whined, trying to reach for it back, but Dabi just shoved it aside, allowing it to shatter on the ground. “You should go. This place isn’t the best place for you privileged brats.” 

“Fuck you, that was mine!” Natsuo groused, hitting Dabi’s arm. His body surged forward, pushing Dabi away. He swayed side to side as he stood up, going into some kind of dancing fighting stance. “C’mere blue!” 

Dabi stared at him incredulously. Natsuo was so out of it. “You want to  _ fight _ me, kid?” 

Natsuo let out a jumbled cry. To Dabi’s utter shock, ice flew out of Natsuo’s palm, barely short of smacking him in the face if his instincts didn’t take over. 

“Natsuo, stop!” Dabi ducked as ice was thrown at him again. “For fuck’s sake, kid!” He let out a groan of irritation, feeling the flames heat up in his palm. He didn’t want to hurt him. That was a promise he made to himself when he left. But if Natsuo was going to keep this up, it would draw the attention of pro-heroes. 

“H-How did you know his name?” Dabi heard the other kid, Riku, gasp. 

He decided to ignore him for now, throwing a heap of flames towards the wall beside Natsuo, careful not to hit him. He just needed him to calm down. Natsuo didn’t seem to to be bothered by that, continuing to throw ice at him. Then just when it could not have gotten any worse, as he planted his shoe forward, ice sprouted from the concrete. _What the fuck, what the fuck, since when did he have this kind of quirk?_ This time, Dabi wasn’t fast enough to move out of the way and the ice surging towards him like waves slammed him into the opposite wall. 

He let out a stream of profanities. The ice itself didn’t hurt but slamming into the wall? Yeah that did some damage all right. He forced himself to bite down the pain, burning through the ice surrounding him, and stood back up, his back still stinging. 

“N-Natsuo, s-stop attacking him,” the chestnut haired boy called out from the side. “P-Please, he’s going to kill you.” 

“Listen to your friend, kid,” Dabi warned, allowing the flames to flicker in his palm to emphasize the threat. 

Again, he wasn’t fazed by that. Damn, Natsuo should be drunk more. He only showed this side of himself when he would try arguing with their father about his training. He would only calm down when—oh, that was it. He should’ve remembered it sooner. 

Natsuo was too drunk out of his mind, he wouldn’t remember it at all anyway. Dabi threw up a wall of flames between them and the chestnut haired boy, dodging another line of ice. 

“Natsuo, hey,” the words of comfort felt foreign in his tongue—it was a language he hadn’t spoken in more than a decade. “Ice beats fire, remember? You’re too strong for me, little bro, let’s try again tomorrow, huh?” It wasn’t all a lie.  _ They _ were his weaknesses. 

Natsuo suddenly halted. His face paled, wide eyes locked on Dabi’s own. The anger vanished from his expression, his arms shaking as he lowered them. He stepped back, looking at himself, then looking at Dabi again like Dabi had just stole his intestines or something. 

Dabi let out a heavy sigh. At least he calmed down. 

“Mr. Dabi, please don’t hurt Natsuo!” He heard the chestnut haired boy’s cries over the flames. Dabi rolled his eyes. He remembered he had explicitly told him to take care of him, so why would he even think about hurting him? Natsuo had good friends but they were dumb too. 

When the flames finally died down, leaving nothing but scorch marks, the chestnut haired boy ran to Natsuo, and stood a protective stance in front of him. 

“Chill out, kid. I didn’t hurt him.” Dabi threw his hands in the air exasperatedly. “He was the one who attacked me, if anything.” 

The chestnut haired boy shot him a glare. “How did you know Natsuo’s name?” 

“I’m not stupid, I know he’s the son of Endeavor,” Dabi said flatly. “Geez, kid. Calm down. I may be a villain but I don’t hurt innocent students.” 

The kid softened slightly. He turned back to Natsuo, who had, in the short span of talking to the kid, fallen asleep. “Natsuo! Oi, Natsuo!” He barked. Natsuo just let out a small grunt in response. 

Dabi knew it was a terrible idea, but he didn’t stop himself from saying it either. “Look, I live a couple blocks out. The kid can stay with me for the night and I’ll send him off tomorrow.” 

Riku eyed him warily. “W-What? You’re a top ranking villain notorious for burning the bodies of your victims. Why should I trust you?” 

“I already told you. I’m not some heartless asshole. Besides if I wanted to kill him, I would have already.”

He still looked skeptical which was normal of course considering it was a person like Dabi who offered it. Well at least he wasn’t as gullible as he thought. 

“Hey, you came to me. That meant you trust me somehow.” Dabi argued, crossing his arms. 

Riku finally lowered his stance, glancing at the passed out boy beside him. “You won’t kill him?” 

“I won’t, kid. Now get out of here.” 

Riku sent him another sharp look before helping Natsuo up. “Mr. Dabi—“

“Get out of here before someone else comes and kills you!” Dabi seethed, impatience prickling his skin. 

When he was alone with Natsuo, that was the only time he realized how badly he had fucked up. 

Oh Dabi knew there was hell to face the next morning. 

  
  
  


  1. **NATSUO**



Natsuo had a test.

It was a mastery in Organic Chemistry. Being the slacker he was, he screwed up and failed pretty badly. That was the last thing on his mind before the alcohol consumed him and all his rational thoughts floated away in bliss. He had no regrets chugging down bottle after bottle surrounded by his friends, laughing the night away in one of the more popular bars downtown. 

Now though? He regretted it. So much. Man, did he really get so sad like that over a test? He never cared about these things! Then he remembered Mitsuki, that girl he had a crush on in class, had gotten the highest score and he felt unworthy of being in her presence.  _ Damn Endeavor and his dumb genes! _ Ah, that was it. 

His feelings didn’t matter now. What mattered now was that he woke up to a splitting headache, the sunlight burning his eyes, in a complete stranger’s room. He immediately threw the blanket over his face, unwilling to face the world just yet. 

He didn’t want to get up.  _ Nope, nope _ . Getting up would mean having to figure out what in the word he was doing in this room and facing the world’s worst hangover. He knew it was a weekend so Fuyumi was also probably bat shit crazy about not being home. He didn’t understand why she even wanted him home. He really just needed five more minutes. 

Or not. 

“The earlier you get out of bed, the faster you’ll get rid of that hangover ” he heard a low voice say. He startled at the sound of the voice, nearly hitting his head on the headboard of the bed. He slowly peeled the blanket away, and when he opened his eyes again, a pair of turquoise eyes were staring right down at him. 

_ Oh god, oh god, did my father actually pick me up from the bar?  _ A million scenarios ran through his head, thinking of all the things that went wrong if Endeavor made a grand entrance and scolded him out in public.  _ No, no, no— _

Then a split second later, he realized  _ oh shit! _ That was not Endeavor at all. A feeling of dread crawled in his stomach. Black hair, surgical staples, permanent light purple scars, piercings all over—this was Dabi. The B-ranking villain that scared the living shit out of everyone. Out of him. 

He had been attacked by a villain once. Once! And it was lucky that time because his father was bringing Shoto’s classmates home. But now, now he knew the situation wasn’t going to be as miraculous as that one. The man almost killed his father, if he didn’t back out of it. By the color alone, his father‘s flames were no match for him. What more some puny ice? 

Needless to say, he panicked. He yelped, bolting upright, trying to ignore the shot of pain that came with it, backing up until his back hit the board of the bed. “D-Don’t kill me!”

Dabi hummed, crossing his arms. He had a smug look on his face, eyes gleaming with mischief. “Give me one reason not to, Todoroki Natsuo.” 

He knew his name! Damn, he was definitely screwed. He was fine being called “white haired kid” or at least Todoroki but he knew his full name! What kind of things do you say to a murderer who was probably going to kill him anyway? 

“Uh, uh,” Natsuo racked his mind. He was after Endeavor wasn’t he? Dabi didn’t know him anyway, so he supposed he could twist the truth right? “E-Endeavor won’t be happy!” 

Dabi scrunched his eyes and sneered at him. “Yeah, right. Do you expect me to believe that?” 

“It’s true!” He said, anxiety clamming in his chest. “He-he’s probably worried about me you know!” Natsuo knew it was a lie of course. The old man couldn’t care less. But Dabi didn’t know that. Right?

“That bastard couldn’t care less about anybody, especially his own family,” Dabi scoffed. Natsuo could hear the genuine venom in his voice. The idea of Endeavor seemed to irk him like it was personal. “Unless...Keeping you hostage won’t get his attention. But killing you? Hmm.” A sly smile curled up his lips again. 

“O-Oi!” Natsuo’s voice pitched, emotions spiraling all over, not to mention the throbbing headache. “If you wanted his attention, you should’ve gotten ‘Yumi or Shoto. Then he would actually care coz he loves them more!”

He quickly realized what he just said and wanted to shove the words back inside his mouth. He widened his eyes. Oh man, he just messed up even more. “Wait, agh! N-No, don’t target them, oh my goodness, fine, just,” he exhaled heavily, squeezing his eyes shut. “Don’t hurt them.”

Dabi was silent. Natsuo began to feel the uneasiness squirm in his stomach again, wondering if he had said the wrong thing and provoked him. Oh no, was he going to kill him and then target his siblings? Did he just put them in danger?  _ Oh no, oh no, think, you dumb ass, what would Touya do right now? _

When Natsuo peeked one eye open, Dabi was trying to stifle his grin but it failed. He let out a laugh. “I was joking, kid. Geez. You’re still so sensitive. There’s water and a hangover pill on the table beside you. I’ll come check on you later.” 

A mix of confusion and relief flooded his bones as he watched Dabi leave the room.  _ Still _ ? “Wait!” Dabi paused at the doorway, but didn’t bother to look back. 

“What did you mean by still? Do you know me?” Natsuo asked.

Dabi kneaded his knuckles on the door frame. “I’ll come check on you later, kid.” He repeated. And then he closed the door behind him. 

Natsuo frowned. He was left more confused than ever. 

—

Some time passed before Dabi returned. Natsuo had taken the pill he gave him, trusting in the medicine because it was part of the pharmaceutical exam he took a few weeks ago. He didn’t dare leave the room, afraid that Dabi was going to chase him down. 

The room was pretty decent. It was a standard studio type apartment, although the beige walls were a little faded and the furniture was the bare minimum. Not that he was complaining though. There was a window perched parallel to the bed, although only a small portion of it allowed light to seep it and the rest was covered by wooden planks. When he peeked through it, he realized they were in a high rising suburban area. Most of the view was just blocked by other apartment buildings. 

When Dabi came back, he was carrying a plastic bag from the chain convenience store. He wasn’t wearing his usual villain getup that Natsuo frequently saw in the news. He was clad in a simple black hoodie, jeans, and some worn out sneakers. 

“‘Sup, kid. Feeling better?” Dabi asked as he shut the door. 

Natsuo just stared at him. The villain was acting like he hadn’t threatened to kill him just hours ago. What was he supposed to say?

He should be polite and formal. 

“I’m feeling better. Thanks for the pill.” Natsuo cleared his throat. 

Dabi hummed, setting the plastic on the table and removing its contents. Natsuo continued to stare him down, looking at him cautiously, afraid to make a move. 

Dabi noticed it, meeting his eye. He cocked an eyebrow. “I already said that I wasn’t going to kill you. You can relax.” 

“Why?” Natsuo blurted out. 

“Do you want me to?” 

“N-No!”

Dabi shrugged. “Then I won’t. Come on, you gotta eat.” 

Natsuo still found the whole thing unsettling, but nevertheless followed him, making his way to the small dining set across the bed. He sat on the chair opposite Dabi, still a bit freaked out as evident in his trembling. He hoped Dabi didn’t notice it. 

Dabi took out the plastic container and set it in front of him. To his delight, it was an array of sushi—the exact meal he enjoyed growing up and even in uni. It’s been days since he had it! He couldn’t hide the surprise and joy in his expression, a smile lighting up his face like a child receiving presents on Christmas day. 

Then he remembered he was in the presence of a villain and tried to cover it up as much as he could. 

“Sorry,” Natsuo scratched his head, chuckling to himself. “I-I just really like sushi.” 

Dabi had an unreadable expression on his face, something Natsuo thought to be sadness. Did he like sushi too? Did he want this? It quickly went away though, replaced by his usual smug expression. 

They ate in silence at first. They both dug in their meals hungrily, only the sounds of the chopsticks thudding on the container and the slurping of the noodles on Dabi’s end filling the room with some kind of noise.

“You know,” Dabi broke the silence. “You attacked me last night.” 

Natsuo choked on the piece of sashimi he had shoved in his mouth, coughing hysterically as he he doubled over. 

He did  _ what _ ? 

What the hell did he even do? He had some athleticism sure, he was a volleyball player, but he was no match for this guy. His quirk was just plain ice and Dabi could cremate his body in seconds.

“H-How—what—“

“You were mad at me because I took your beer bottle,” Dabi said, his lips curling. “Fuck’s sake, kid. Your quirk is strong. Never thought about being a hero?”

Memories of his childhood flashed in his mind. His older brother, Touya, screaming as he was pushed and abused to use his quirk. Sneaking into the training room after his father had left, finding him barely conscious with burns scalding his arms and legs. His younger brother, Shoto, not even five years old, vomiting on the ground, gasping, while his father yelled at him to get up. Enji said it was all necessary to become a hero.

He had spent his entire life believing that was the only way to become a hero, and so he thought he was lucky his quirk was deemed useless by his father. 

“No,” Natsuo admitted. “Never.” 

“Hm? I heard Endeavor trained his kids though. Not one of the lucky ones?” 

Natsuo clenched his jaw, indignation seeping through his veins. Touya and Shoto were not lucky. They had suffered the blow of having that selfish bastard as a father way worse than he and Fuyumi did. “They weren’t lucky at all!” His cheeks flushed. “Y-You don’t know anything about what happened, what happened to—“ He stopped himself.  _ No, no, Dabi was intentionally doing this.  _ He slumped back in his seat. “Never mind.”

“What happened to who, Natsuo?” Dabi asked, his turquoise blue eyes squaring in on him, leaning forward. 

“N-No one, forget it—“

“No one? So whoever that person was, it was that easy to forget about them, is that what you’re trying to say?” Dabi challenged. 

“No! Of course not!” Natsuo could feel the lump growing in his throat, his chest welling up.

“I mean, who could blame you? Why mourn the death of a cursed life, of a failure—“

“S-Stop, please, you don’t know anything—“

“Of a child who couldn’t control his own goddamn quirk—“

“You don’t know shit!—“

“And killed himself in the process of desperately trying to live up to some fucked up expectations!” The table jolted as Dabi aggressively shot upwards, slamming his fist onto the table. “Todoroki Touya.” 

Natsuo stared at him in disbelief, his mouth falling agape. He felt the air sucked out of his throat, sick to his stomach, different emotions caving in on him at once.

_ No, no, no, what the actual— _

_ How did he— _

_ No, that wasn’t it. He felt like he already knew the answer to that.  _

_ This wasn’t some random villain with a general resentment towards his father.  _

_ They never actually found his body. _

_ This wasn’t—it couldn’t be— _

A sob escaped his lips. He buried his face into his hands, letting out a terrible heart-wrenching cry as his heart thrashed in what was fury, sadnesses, relief and a bunch of messed up emotions he couldn’t even process. 

Ten years. Ten long and melancholic years of living with the hole his death tore into him. Ten years of sitting in his old room on his birthday, blowing out a candle for him, while sobbing until he fell asleep. Ten years of “Touya was just not strong enough to withstand his quirk!” and allowing Shoto’s pained cries to wallow in the hallways. 

He didn’t care that he was having a mental breakdown anymore in front of a villain because now he realized he wasn’t a stranger. 

_ “Oi, Natsuo, listen up. Fuyumi may be older than you, but you gotta promise me you’re going to protect her and Shoto when I’m away.”  _

_ “I will, Touya-nii! You’ll be back in a few months right? You’ll be here right during my junior high school graduation?“  _

_ “I...I will. For you, kiddo. I’ll miss you. Be Shoto’s big warrior for me okay?”  _

_ “I will! Come home soon, okay? I’ll be waiting!”  _

_ Those were the last things he told him before he was casted away to that stupid hero commission training program and was reported dead a few days later.  _

The day he found out Touya died was the day he vowed to never forgive his father, no matter what. 

But he was here, now, full of scars and staples and remorse, but alive nonetheless. He had always begged the gods to bring Touya back no matter what, so why was he so upset? Why was he so angry? 

His sobs bubbled in his throat, flowing out in an unending stream of tangled noises. He didn’t notice Dabi move towards him. He didn’t notice the way Dabi’s arms hung in the air, trying to reach out to a brother who lamented over his death, but didn’t know how to comfort him. He didn’t know. 

He only felt his scarred arms stiffly wrap his body. 

“Natsuo,” His tone was soft but strained. His breath was warm on his face. “Heh, you’re still such a crybaby.” 

That made him sob even harder. He pulled Dabi’s arms closer to him, burying himself in an awkward embrace. He didn’t care; He shed way too many tears for this whole revelation to sink in. His junior high graduation. Family day at school. Endeavor’s whole stupid redemption arc. His birthdays. 

“I-I mourned your death,” he sniffled, his tone uneven and grainy. “I  _ mourned _ your death. I-I—y-you—you can’t just say that I didn’t. You-you have no idea—“ he buried himself again. 

“Touya is dead, Natsuo,” Dabi said quietly, his tone ragged and emotional. “I can’t be him anymore. I’m—fuck—I’ve killed people. I’m a villain now.” 

Dabi unwrapped his arms from him as he crouched down to look at him. Natsuo shakily raised his head to meet his eyes again. Blood was seeping through the staples below his eyes. “I didn’t want to tell you. I was afraid that I was going to ruin the strong older brother image but I couldn’t hold myself back. I’m not sorry for becoming like this, kid, but I’m sorry for...for hurting you this way.” 

“I don’t care, I really don’t,” Natsuo bawled. “I don’t care what you are, what you did, what you’re doing now, y-you’re alive. And-and you’re here...” He felt like he was a child again, hearing his own cries ricochet around Dabi’s apartment but in this moment it really didn’t matter as much to him than reuniting with his older brother. “I waited for you,” his voice cracked. “I waited so long, thinking it wasn’t true, but you never came back. You left us. Left me.” 

“I know,” Dabi’s voice was barely a whisper: frail and small like his own. “I know. I’m sorry, kiddo. You deserved better.” He stood up again, and Natsuo followed suit. He sat down on the ground now, with his back against the frame of his bed and motioned Natsuo to sit beside him. 

Natsuo instinctively leaned his head onto his shoulder, his ragged sniffles the only noise in the room. 

“It’s not the same anymore, kiddo.” Dabi swung an arm around him. “I’m a wanted criminal now. I’m probably going to get caught by one of those heroes soon. Probably even by Shoto.” He let out a soft laugh. “I want you to know that.” 

Natsuo made a small grunt beside him. “I know. I don’t care. I really don’t care about heroes and all that shit.” 

“This might be the first and last time we get to do this, you know that right?” Dabi sighed, his eyes gazing at him. Natsuo moved his head back and forth numbly, nodding. 

“Then...will you tell me about them? Mom, ‘Yumi and Shoto?” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting on Ao3 so saying that I'm pretty nervous about it is a huuuge understatement.:3 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the story! I would love to hear what you guys think of it. I'm planning to write a longer Todoroki fam story soon so hopefully the brain cells will figure it out.


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